Kuwabara's Back (Without Me)
by The Retired Keiya Tenpouin
Summary: After a solo mission, Kuwabara confronts the YYH crew, he gives them a little surprise...(Someone beat me to this idea of using the song, but this one is different, read and see)


Kuwabara's Back  
  
by Keiya Tenpouin  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimers - I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, or the song "Without Me" by Eminem.  
  
  
  
Summary - Kuwabara returns after a solo mission, and when he faces the Yu Yu crew,  
  
he gives them a little surprise.  
  
  
  
A/N - AHHHH!!!! Someone beat me to it!!!! But hey......That was with Yusuke,  
  
and this is my idea, and my version.....hope you like it.......  
  
It's my first (and probably last) Yu Yu Hakusho attempt.  
  
Oh, and some Hiei bashing, remember this is written from  
  
Kuwabara's POV  
  
  
  
_______________________________________________________  
  
  
  
On the roof of the school, a very fimilar group seems........impatent and annoyed.  
  
"DAMN IT! WHERE THE HELL IS KUWABARA?!? KOENMA WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU SENT *HIM* ON THE MISSION?!?" Koenma (in his child form) responded with  
  
patience and understanding. "HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE IF A CERTAIN SPRIT DETECTIVE AND TWO YOUKAI WANTED SOME DAMN TIME OFF, HE WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT BY HIMSELF YOU STUCK UP ASSHOLE!!!" "WHY YOU LITTLE...." "SHUT UP!!!!!!!"  
  
Botan yelled, breaking up a probable fight between the two. Kurama and Hiei looked disappointed......that was a fight they would have loved to see.  
  
Then they heard a door creak open and footsteps walking through  
  
The group turned around, and found a battle ravaged Kuwabara standing in the doorway.  
  
"What took you so long Kazuma?" Asked Kurama, calmly.  
  
"Getting back, traffic's a bitch......" "Stop lying you weakling, you had trouble didn't you?" Hiei calmly stated.  
  
"Maybe, but it felt so empty without me......"  
  
All the sudden music began playing, out of nowhere.....  
  
"Eminem...Kuwabara...Name no Gimmicks....go.."  
  
*Kuwabara begins rapping*  
  
"2 fuckin' hot girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the out side....  
  
2 little weak youkais go round the outside, round the outside, but can't get no hide....  
  
Guess who's back. back again. Kazuma's back tell a friend.  
  
*Screen cuts to Koenma's workers saying to each other*  
  
"Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back..."  
  
*Screen cuts to Kuwabara, who has sunglasses on, and some gold chains*  
  
"I've stomped on a monster  
  
"Cause nobody wants to Kazuma no more  
  
Just Kurama, I'm chopped liver  
  
If you want Hiei this is what I'll give ya  
  
a little bit of weed mix with some mixed with some hard liquer  
  
and some vodka that will jumpstart my heart quicker than a shock  
  
when I get shocked at the dojo by Genkai when I'm just complaining  
  
when I'm rocking the place while she's operating (ewww.....)  
  
You've waited this long so stop debating  
  
Cuz I'm back, and Hiei's on the rag and ovulating (Yusuke - Ohhhhh!!!!)  
  
So Koenma see won't let me be or let me be me so let me see  
  
they tried to kick me out of school you see, but it feels so empty without me (Keiko - bullshit!)  
  
So come on a dip, bum on her lips, fuck that cum on her lips like some cheap porno flick  
  
and get ready, cuz the shits about to get heavy  
  
I just won all my battles so FUCK YOU HIEI!!!!  
  
  
  
Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me  
  
Cause we need a little stipidity cuz it feels so empty without me  
  
  
  
Little hellions! Kids feeling rebelious! Embarrasses cuz their parents still listen to Elvis (the whole group -DAMN STRAIGHT!)  
  
they start feeling the prisioner's helpless  
  
Till someone like me comes on a mission and yells BITCH!  
  
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution, pollouting everywhere anyways  
  
a rebel, so revel and bask in the fact that I got Yusuke kissin my ass (Yusuke - Yeah.....HEY!!!)  
  
And it's a disastor (Yusuke - Damn striaght) such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me? (Yukina - Yeah!!!!) (Hiei - .......)  
  
Well I'm back nanananananana fix your bent antennae, put it on your head (everyone - huh?!?) then  
  
I'm gonna enter your skin like a spinter, the major asskicker back for the winter  
  
I'm interesting, the worst thing since Yusuke, Infesting the world's strength and besting it  
  
Testing "Attention Please" feel the fear as soon as someone mentions me  
  
here's my 10 cents, my 2 cents is free  
  
A nuisance, who sent? Eminem sent for me? (Eminem - with these rhyming skills, I just might)  
  
Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me  
  
Cuz we need a little genious see, cuz it feels so empty without me (Yusuke - genious, bet he doesn't even know how to spell it)  
  
A tisk it, a task it, I'll go tit (Everyone - *snickers*, Hiei - he said tit) for tat with anybody who's talking this shit that shit  
  
Hiei, you little fast shit, you can get your ass kicked, worse than those demon-king bastards  
  
and also you can get stompted by Obi-Wan Kenobi, you Vegeta wannabe little loser, bitch please!  
  
You can't hurt me, your not James Bond, it's over, every fangirl wants to see you and Kurama get it on  
  
(Everyone, especially Hiei and Kurama - EWWWWWWWW!!!! THAT"S NASTY!!)  
  
So let' s go, give me the signal, I'll be the with my fire sword, swingin like a shooting pistol  
  
I've been dope, suspencful with the fire sword jingo , ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol (DING!)  
  
But sometimes the shit just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me  
  
So this must mean I'm disgusting  
  
But that's just me  
  
I'm just asskicking (Kuwabara's gang - damn straight)  
  
Though I'm not the first king of asskicking  
  
I AM the worst thing since Urameshi  
  
I kick ass not so selfishly, but use it to gain respect especially (Yusuke - what?) (Hiei - He's full of shit)  
  
There's a concept that works  
  
20 million other demons emerge  
  
but no matter how many demon kings in the sea  
  
I'll cut them all down like a tree  
  
Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me  
  
Cuz we need a little controversy cuz it feels so empty without me  
  
Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody who wants to challenge me  
  
step up, but in your pants don't try to pee, And it feels so empty without me....  
  
Hum dei dei la la hum dei dei la la la la la la la la la la  
  
IT'S ME!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
*music fades, Kuwabara returns to normal*  
  
"So, did I miss anything guys?" "You are about to get the biggest ass kicking in your life weakling...prepare yourself!!!" Hiei demanded. Kuwabara, got ready and the two started fighting.  
  
"Oh no...not again!" Botan sighed. 


End file.
